Recently I was coaching two separate clients who are both having a hard time letting go of an ex-partner.In both cases, their exes are done with the relationship, but my clients do not want to let go.Be realistic, optimistic and willing to put in the work.Despite what you grew up thinking, your prince charming isn't going to ride in on his white horse and whisk you away.His responses range from anger at her for reaching out, to compassion and asking her to be strong and move on with her life.The other client does not contact his ex, but responds when she reaches out to him. They are holding onto the hope that their relationships can still be revived somehow, although they have received no indication that this is possible.-Start with this 1-Hour “Mock Date” (which takes place via Skype).
It’s normal for partnerships to ebb and flow because it can’t be crazy good all the time. And in all these years since that marriage ended, we’ve both moved on and found people who are better for us. I know it’s time to re-evaluate who I spend my time with when I feel like I’m evolving but s/he seems to still be in a space or mindset that doesn’t match mine. If your relationship can’t keep up with those changes, however subtle, it’s a good sign you may need to have the old “where do I see myself in 5 years” talk.
But there was one thing I had a hard time letting go of.
He was my high school sweetheart and husband at the time, and though we tried everything imaginable to make things work, I woke up one day with this overwhelming realization that is just wasn’t working anymore.
They will try to sort through the issues that led to the breakup.
There will be clear indications that they want to reconcile. There are no indications that their partners want to get back together.